Mike & I haven't really been on the same page since the miscarriage & we have slowly been "crumbling" I guess you can say. Don't get me wrong, we are still really close & still love each other more then the day we got married, or met, but we have been going down our own "paths" & dealing with things by ourselves & not together when the time deems worthy. Lets just say that we had a break down of Communication yesterday about some "choices" he has made recently that I have either asked him to wait on or not to do at all. We finally talked about everything that we have been dealing with the last month or so & worked on it together. By the time we were "over ourselves" & communicating finally.
In the middle of all this Bear has been getting worse. If you remember, or haven't read that far back in the blog, Bear has Kidney failure since March, but had been dealing with it EXTREMELY well. He held his bladder all day & all night, until this weekend. He has been having to go outside about every hour & he had 3 accidents on the bed yesterday & last night. I didn't get to sleep until about midnight & Bear woke me up at 4:30am because he peed in the bed. I couldn't get back to sleep last night. I just don't know if Bear will make it very much further.
Anyway, I just needed to vent about my life this last year, it has not really turned out how we planned, but does it ever?
3 comments:
Sorry life has been rough lately. Hope things start getting better for you soon.
Wow! You've certainly had a time of it. Communication is the key, that's what we learned again at Ward Conference last Sunday. It's hard to remember that but it really does improve the situation.
Nothing I say will make you feel better about your losses, but I truly do feel for you. Hopefully Bear will be okay. Keep us updated!
And has hokey as it sounds.... try to list some things you're grateful for, or that have improved in some way this past year. There are beautiful moments amongst all the crappy ones, I promise!
Girl, I can certainly relate. Sometimes when it rains it pours. I'm so sorry for your losses. The hardest times we had came during the time of the miscarriages. We also had deaths in the family. Keep the communication open and share your feelings often about things. Everyone grieves and copes with things differently. I wish we would have handled some things differently, but you do the best you know how. You've never been through this before and neither has your husband. Just lean on each other and you'll come out of this victorious and closer. I'm not the same person I was before and our relationship is not the same either...it's better. Though there may be times when you wonder about this keep pressing forward together with God and all will work out. I hope Bear will come through this. Sorry such a long comment
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